Americans gobble up 46 million turkeys at Thanksgiving. That works out to almost 3 pounds of poultry per person who partakes in the feast, according to statistics from the National Turkey Federation. Come on, people, this is AMERICA. We can do better than that. Here are a few tips on how to maximize your food consumption this holiday season.
1.WRONG: Starving yourself in preparation: if you limit your food intake to lead up to the BIG meal, your stomach will shrink in size to accommodate for that empty space. Poop Spot Tip: eat many small meals/snacks throughout the day to keep yourself full at all times in the few days leading up to the feast. On the morning of the meal, have a small breakfast, and nibble on some crackers to tide you over before the games begin. Your stretched out tummy will be ready for action!
2.WRONG: Drinking lots of water throughout the meal. This may make your full stomach feel better, but it’s actually taking up a LOT more room in there than you’d think. Poop Spot Tip: Limit your liquid intake on the day of the meal, but be VERY liberal on your consumption of fluids in the days leading up to the meal. It’s an easy way to stretch that stomach!
3.WRONG: Eating Slowly: It takes your stomach approximately 20 minutes to communicate with your brain that you are full. Eating slowly allows for that message to be sent to the brain before you’re fully tapped out. Poop Spot Tip: Eating large portions quickly and then taking a break in between will allow you to consume much more– gotta eat what you can before your brain tells you to stop stuffin’ your face!
4.WRONG: Unbuttoning your pants when you feel full. Now, this is definitely a way to free up space, but we can do one better! Poop Spot Tip: Dresses, Skirts, and Expandable Waist Bands. Don’t EVER restrict your stomach’s ability to stretch by wearing form fitting or tight pants. Leave your jeans and belts at home, people. This is a place for spandex, cotton, and ever expanding waist bands. If you’re REALLY committed, you’ll do a little shopping in the maternity section of your local Target before the big day. Yes, I have actually done that.
Avoid too much salt! Is it delicious? YES. But it makes you retain water, which causes bloating and discomfort! This is counterproductive to your food mission.
All joking aside, we here at The Poop Spot want you to eat safely this Holiday season. DO NOT make yourself sick! Listen to your body. When it’s telling you to stop, STOP! And above all else- when it’s telling you to poop, poop. Then email us about it.