Monday, September 5, 2011

The Great Minnesota Get Together

Over this absolutely gorgeous Labor Day weekend, my pals and I ventured over to St. Paul to attend the Minnesota State Fair. This year we decided that it would be wise to download the MN State Fair iPhone app. Thank God we did! The ease with which we located desired food stands, sights, animals, rides, and music made the fair a leisurely and enjoyable experience. I won't attend again without this handy guide, and I recommend it to any and all fair-goers.

After making my way through a pronto pup, cheese curds, a scotch egg, Australian Fried Potatoes (still have no idea what made them Australian...), pork chop on a stick, grilled sweet corn, salad on a stick, candy bar on a stick, a large heping of Sweet Martha's Cookies, all you can drink milk (which was about half a glass for me), Summit's Beer on a Stick, and funnel cake- I needed to free up some space in my certainly wounded digestive tract.

I wandered over to the first restroom I could find. The line was extremely long, which was to be expected. This is usually a negative factor that goes along with public restrooms in crowded places, but you forget- we're at the fair! There was a parade of freaks, fatties, and abnormally unattractive people to keep one quite entertained- as well as an incredibly drunk man being all too pushy about us ladies heading into the Men's room instead... I did not oblige his request.

Upon entering I noticed very harsh lighting, which, cast upon the motley crew of fair-goers in my company, seemed to amplify every mark, bulge, and missing tooth. I finally spotted an open stall and approached, pleased to see that the doors open out instead of in, leaving lots of room to navigate my multitude of bags full of free shit that I had accumulated.

I usually don't bother, but I did need to wipe off the seat before sitting. The flush of this toilet is so strong that it casts an unwelcome spray out of the bowl, misting the seat and your back side (if you're one to flush before getting up). I assume this is to accommodate for the rigorous work these toilets must do just to choke down the masses of crap that enter them each day.

Considering how much crap MUST be produced in these stalls, the smell was not offensive. This, however, can be attributed to the large population of livestock inhabiting the surrounding area. A short time at the fair and your nose has adjusted to this scent that masks almost every other smell there (except mini donuts...).

The waiting crowd can often cause stage fright and anxiety in a pooper. Not here! The echoing noise of the ladies inside the restroom combined with the noise of the crowd outside created the perfect cover. I could have played a vuvuzela in there and none would be the wiser.

After my work was done, I exited my stall where I was greeted by a clean sink and mirror well stocked with both soap and paper towels. All in all, I was incredibly impressed with the fair staff for keeping the bathroom surprisingly clean and well stocked. That could not possibly be an easy task.

Rating: 7/10

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